the loneliness

she looked up the starry skies
she felt at calm and peace
a feeling that she had been longing for a long time ago
while listening to her favourite song
a tear rolled down her cheeks
she closed her eyes
reminiscing all her memories
everything seems fade away
the only thing that left is pain and scars
she tried to hold the tears but she failed
she was alone
she wished to be like those stars
at that moment, she felt lost
as if she had no one else left with her
she had no one to rely on
everyone thought she could handle her life all by herself
everyone thought she was okay
everyone thought she enjoyed her life that much
everyone thought she was strong enough to hold her tears back
everyone thought she was living her dreams
everyone thought she was surrounded with people
But everyone never know and never try to know
the girl that they thought can handle her life was actually miserable and had been thinking to suicide
they do not know that the girl they thought was okay was not okay at all and she pretended to be okay
the girl that they thought enjoyed her life that much wish to end her life
the girl that they thought was strong enough to hold her tears was actually crying in silent at night when everyone else was sleeping and cried in pain in shower almost everyday
the girl that they thought was living her dreams was actually living in her nightmare and wish to wake up
the girl that they thought was surrounded with people was actually alone and she had her shadow as her company
she sighed
she wish that people know that she was tired living with expectations
she even tired to open her eyes and live her life
it seems like a small deal in others eyes
but they didn't realize that small deal actually could swallow the girl slowly